It’s that time of year, when the urge to be rid of the past, and to forge forward into a glorious future feels almost irresistible.
I’ve been hearing some variation of this from my clients, over the past few weeks: I’m so done with that pattern/that relationship/the Me That Was. It hurts, it feels awful — I never want to experience it again.
And yet, inside every pattern, no matter how painful, frustrating, or debilitating it might be, is an aspect of you that holds your souls essence.
This inner self may be stuck in a story that she clings to, even as it fills her with pain. She may be unable to see beyond her drama, her dreams or nightmares, her version of how things should be, and aren’t.
He may be trapped in old stories of shame and blame. She did this to me. I always. He never. That’s just the way it is.
The seeds of pain burrow deep into the flesh of our stories, and sprout thorny thickets of suffering. The world around us becomes a desert in which only cacti can survive.
So we become cacti. All hard rind and prickly edges.
And the future that a cactus creates looks an awful lot like the desert. Just enough moisture, just enough shade, just enough nourishment to survive. Despite a hostile environment. Despite thin air and searing sun. Bleak survival.
What would your world look like, if you peeled away those stories? If the truth at the sweet heart of your inner selves is revealed?
The You that feels powerless holds in her heart the inner truth of Power. The You that is filled with shame holds the jewel of Sovereignty. The You that is humiliated knows the fertile essence of Humility.
The inner self who is so attached to her stories also holds, in her heart, the essence of your soul. In the jagged gape of your wounds she carries your treasure – that which greens your life and your world.
Your job is to remind her of the truth of her inner being. And to restore her to her rightful place in the ecology of your life, so you can create a future that emerges from your wholeness, from your true and sacred desire.
You can’t do this by getting rid of her. You can only do this through love and discernment, appreciation and more love.
Sweetheart, you say, show me what you know, deep inside you. Show me your true self.
And she will show you. As soon as you ask the question, the enchantment of the story she’s been living lifts, and she remembers her true name.
Earth Angel. Radiant Moon Path. Truth Lightning. Thirsty Root of Deep Desire. Mistress of Tides.
And then you say, I need you. I need your enthusiasm, your power, your joy, your willingness. With you, life is a glorious adventure. Without you, my world is a desert; I am tumbleweed.
You fall into each others’ arms. Embrace. Cry joyful tears. You’re home!
Then you sally forth together. Arm in arm, heart in heart.
Your togetherness shapes the world around you, naturally, to fit you, to hold your wholeness.
Like the sand cups the shell of a moon snail. Like the sky curves her blue body around the mountains peak.
Your life flows into the shape that holds you – in love, in tenderness, in the Earth’s rich abundance.