A little less than a month ago, I moved to my new home, which is lovely, and perfect for what I want to do in my life and my business right now.
The move happened easily–I had lots of help. Professional packers and movers did the heavy lifting.
And everywhere I look, I am surrounded by the love and labor of my son and my friends, who helped me unpack; who moved things around until they found their rightful place here.
It wasn’t until the last cushion rested gently in the crook of the last armchair that my body decided enough was enough. It let me know very clearly that there was no more labor to be had, no more juice to be squeezed from it.
For me, this translates as a deep fatigue-of body, mind and heart. I can’t think. Or write. Or do anything except stop. Enter into the womb of holy rest.
So I did what I always do, when I arrive at the borderlands of Depletion.
Through the magic of synchronicity, I had just two things I absolutely had to do this week.
So I booked the week off. Canceled all plans. Checked to make sure there was plenty of good, nourishing food in the house.
Then, I turned off the ringer on the phone. Turned up the heat in the fireplace. Snuggled into my favorite, silky blanket on the couch in the family room.
And watched movies. And ate. And napped.
I went to bed at eight each night, and read for a while before falling asleep. I woke early, as always, and stayed in bed until I was truly ready to be up.
The first couple of days, I felt emptied out-a shell whose occupant had moved away, leaving its fragile husk to the vagaries of sun and wind.
The first couple of days, I went for my usual morning walk. But my heart didn’t stutter with joy when the sun splashed its radiance on yellow forsythia, on creamy magnolia blossoms quivering in the wind.
So for the next couple of days, I surrendered entirely to my need to live in Flatland, to be horizontal rather than vertical.
Sleep. Eat. Read a little. Watch movies. Nap. Early to bed.
Slowly, the Devas returned. Or, I returned to the Wholeness which they never leave.
The Deva of Love, the Deva of Compassion.
Of Rest. Safety. Home. Belonging.
Surrender. Innocence. Faith.
Slowly, the empty shell of my body began filling with their presence, and with mine.
I’m not there yet.
Yesterday, I ventured out for a walk in my neighborhood. And my heart lifted in delight as the air around me shimmered with birdsong, crackled with the screeching of gulls.
The sweet breath of Spring on my cheek. The flush of early morning sunshine on my neck. O, this beautiful , beautiful world!
I had lunch with an old friend at my favorite restaurant downtown. And suddenly, I was exhausted again–a tired child who wanted nothing more than to lay my head down on my pillow and sleep.
So I’m still on mini-sabbatical. For as long as it takes. Or, until I teach my next class on Monday.
When I surrender to the sweetness of rest, it fills me. It nourishes my heart, restores my spirit, soothes my body, relaxes my mind. It restores me to myself.
This spaciousness, which meets me with such love, which requires nothing of me other than my own well-being, is deeply healing.
And the Deva of my business assures me that all is well-that my business is sturdy enough to do without me for a while. That my wonderful Alexandra has things in hand. That the systems and structures I’ve created cradle and hold my business while I sink into sacred rest.
One thing I know for sure: When I surrender to the flow, it carries me when I need to be carried. It carries my business too.
Eventually, this shell will fill up with all that I need. My body will be my sacred home again.
The time to act will come on the current of Divine Flow.
Until then, it’s time to be.
How about you? What do you need most, right now? How do you meet your own need?