A couple of weeks ago, my very smart friend, Danielle (she’s @dmonique on Twitter), was getting ready to write a four-hour final exam. One that she has to pass in order to do her heart’s work in the world. She was scared, and overwhelmed. And determined to use this opportunity to transform a long-standing pattern.

Here’s part of what she said about it:

“I keep thinking about failure. And patterns. And lessons. . . I’m trying to figure out where along the lines I am sabotaging myself. Because this is a pattern. Stuff I’ve largely dealt with but certain circumstances (like big exams) can bring back to the surface. . . I get this anxiety and stop thinking . . . my brain literally stops functioning.”

She went on to describe all the helpful, practical things she was doing to shift her pattern. Like taking really good care of herself. And putting everything else aside to focus on her studies.

She asked for suggestions on how to manage her anxiety during the exam. She kindly agreed to let me share her question and my response here on this blog, because we can all use some help in dealing with stressful situations.

Here’s my response to her:

It’s wonderful to hear all the realizations you’ve already had about this pattern you describe, and the very concrete steps you’re taking to shift it.

Lovely that you’re focused on doing what it takes to prepare for this exam, and saying No to everything else until it’s done. Also brilliant that your prep time includes taking loving care of yourself, meeting your anxiety with compassion, and doing the inner and outer work that you have to do.

The energy in the exam room isn’t really set by anyone–there’s no-one actively holding and containing a particular energy field in there. So the strongest energy ends up prevailing, by default. If that is the students’ fear, or the proctors’ judgment, then you and everyone in that exam room will be sitting in a giant pool of scary energy.

You can change this by setting a clear intention for yourself, for the room, and for the exam process itself. Do this ahead of time, in whatever way works for you–through prayer, or ritual, or simply clear intent.

Ask for what you need. Connect with your soul, and with your spiritual allies, and ask for safety, protection, clarity, knowledge, certainty–all the Divine qualities that are yours by virtue of the fact that you are a living expression of the Divine.

Fill yourself with these qualities each day between now and the day of your exam, so that when the time comes, you are fully nourished before you ever set foot in the place.

Once you’re there, take a few minutes to ground and center yourself. Ground and cleanse the energy in the room, and ask your allies to hold and contain that energy field as you write your exam.

I have specific ways that I do this, but you can use whatever works for you. Just know that you are a powerful spiritual being, and that in any situation, the clearest, strongest energy always prevails. So set that energy for yourself, and it will benefit everyone in the room.

It will also help you to attune to the soul of the exam and the proctors, and to ask for their help and support ahead of time. They can be your allies, rather than obstacles on your path.

Then, when you enter that exam room, you will enter a container of blessing and support. One that you have invoked and helped to create. And you yourself will be a blessing and support to everyone there, so that each of you can bring your whole selves into that room.

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You don’t have to wait for a stressful situation to practise these simple ways of taking care of yourself.

When you wake up in the morning, before you get out of bed, take a few moments to review the day ahead.

Set the energy for each interaction, each situation, each thing you want to accomplish that day.

Ask for help. Fill your heart with the qualities you need to fully nourish yourself.

Then take that energy of fullness and nourishment as blessings into your day.

Be a source of blessing.

Kiss the Screaming Meemies, and they’ll blush and kiss you back.

(Many thanks to my brilliant friend Havi Brooks, who suggested this post. :-))