How to get milk from a stone, and other fables . . .
Browsing through the children’s section of my local bookstore one afternoon this week (what can I say? I love kids’ books), I overheard two young women talking. They were probably in their mid-twenties. Attractive, healthy, wearing workout clothes, their vibrant beauty drew some attention, as did their (fairly loud) conversation.
Woman 1 was petite, with bright, dark eyes, expressive hands and silky blonde hair that she wore clipped back in a pony-tail. Woman 2 was tall and thin. She had a worried smile, angular cheekbones and a small mole on her left cheek.
Their conversation went something like this:
Woman 1: So I said to the stone: Stone, c’mon, turn off that game and give me milk. I need milk. I need cookies. Bret threw a tantrum in the supermarket today. Mindy threw up on my shoes. Don’t you care?
Woman 2: Yeah, you totally deserve milk. You do so much for everyone. You SO deserve milk. (Pause, followed by worried look). So, did he give it to you?
Woman 1: No. He just sat there like . . . like a stone! No milk! How hard could it be to give me milk, after all I’ve done for him? Running around after those kids all day . . . all I need is a little milk. That’s not so much to ask for, is it?
Woman 2: Awww, of course not!
They talked a while longer. They analyzed the stone from every angle.
It’s his mother’s fault—he’s passive-aggressive because she’s so controlling.
Stones are like that–they don’t think of anyone but themselves.
And then: Maybe I should get a babysitter and go to Pilates once in a while. Look at me, my belly still pooches out from when I had Bret. Can’t blame the stone—I’m such a pig.
And so on and so on . . . These two perfectly lovely, vibrant young women bewailing the stone’s hard-heartedness, its lack of generosity, its stubborn silence and failure to communicate. Blaming themselves for getting it wrong, for not being beautiful enough or worthy enough to charm milk from the stone.
Eventually, the women found the book they were looking for, and then they drifted off into the Self-Help aisle.
I drove home, sat in the sunshine on my deck and thought about their conversation. And began writing about it in this post.
Okay, so she didn’t really say the stone. Or milk.
She said Brian. And a bunch of other stuff that Brian wasn’t giving her that she needed and SO deserved. Except maybe she didn’t ‘cause she hadn’t lost her baby-weight and her house was a mess and so maybe it wasn’t his fault.
Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? Everyone knows a stone can’t give you milk. It’s not in its nature.
It doesn’t matter if you badger it, whine at it, try to seduce it or get down on your knees and pray to it—it still can’t give you what it doesn’t have.
If you keep banging your head against the stone to try and get it to give you milk, you’ll end up with a headache and bruises and not much else.
And yet, this is what we do each day. We look to the people in our lives—or to our work, or our hobbies, or our bank balances—to give us what we so desperately need.
A sense of who we are. Love. Connection. Appreciation. Security. Permission to be ourselves. Forgiveness for our shortcomings.
And when the Stones in our lives can’t give us what we want, we’re broken-hearted. Bewildered.
Meanwhile, the light of the Sacred lives in our hearts, silently offering us everything we need.
Love. Safety. Connection. Appreciation. Reminders of our wholeness and our radiance.
All we have to do is take our attention off of that stone, and turn around to receive what’s being given to us from the Source of all nourishment.
That glass of milk? It’s yours for the asking.
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Your words are always soothing, like the soft sound of music on a sunny afternoon.
This is what we all need to learn, I think.
Joely Black´s last blog post..A rapidly expanding history of me and writing (part four): the last bit
Stones are great for other things, and they sure are beautiful, aren’t they. But milk? hahahaha, and yet…! Awesome awesome post. Just what the doctor ordered for me today. Big thank you.
Heidi Fischbach´s last blog post..Massage therapist heal thyself.
This is beyond amazingly beautiful.
Thank you for being you, Hiro.
Goddess Leonie | Creative Goddess´s last blog post..Update: Sponsor opportunities on GGB
Joely, Heidi, Leonie: Beautiful radiant friends all . . . thanks so much for connecting here.
Love, Hiro
Hiro Boga´s last blog post..How to get milk from a stone, and other fables . . .
Wow, I’m 53 years old and just beginning to learn that a stone can’t give you milk.
Thank you for confirming that for me Hiro and thank you for being so eloquent and wise.
“Meanwhile, the light of the Sacred lives in our hearts, silently offering us everything we need.”
So beautifully put, Hiro. A perfect reminder to put our heart-work first because that is where we’ll find our nourishment.
Victoria Brouhard´s last blog post..Being Me, Not a Metaphor
Oh, this is so lovely, Hiro. Thank you. What beautiful words straight to my heart.
Leah´s last blog post..Artful Blogging Magazine
Dearest Hiro,
You are a not so secret poetess and your milk and honey words never fail to deeply touch my heart. Thank you for being one of MY muses!
Big love,
Chris
chris Zydel´s last blog post..Creative Miracle Grow: Finding Someone to Believe In… YOU!
Char, yes, we keep learning this particular lesson over and over. :-)
Victoria, your own heart-work is a precious light in the world. I’m so glad that you’re nourishing it.
Leah, thank you. Your artwork speaks to my own heart too.
Chris, big love to you too, my wonderful, creative friend.
xo Hiro
Hiro Boga´s last blog post..How to get milk from a stone, and other fables . . .
I feel like I have been picked up and shaken – but without any violence. It’s so easy to fall into old patterns of not only blaming ourselves, but looking in the wrong places.
I’ve been looking in the wrong places again. Thank you for reminding me of who is on my side. Me.
Emma Newman´s last blog post..Persistence really is everything
This so reminds me of the story told in a book on rebirthing – really involving milk! One of the authors decided to go on a ‘milk diet’ while in NY, wanting to address having been formula/schedule fed as a baby – & there was a MILK STRIKE, so no milk to be had in the city!
Beautiful tale of looking within & being ‘enough’ just as we are!
I love Leah’s art, too; have her calendar on my kitchen wall to bless me daily :)
Nadya´s last blog post..Mors Dag
Wonderful post. This is something I’m learning bit by bit these days. Fourteen years of marriage to an abusive and controlling man . . . it took me a long time to start understanding that there is nothing wrong with me.
Jessica´s last blog post..The Pirate Queen strikes again
Hi Hiro
This post is totally beautiful – the tension then the release is great.
However the *space* of your blog is even more beautiful – you’re passin’ somethin’ here.
Pretty full-on.
Thank you.
I subscribed. :-)
Andrew
x
Andrew Lightheart @alightheart´s last blog post..I’ve overfished my pond
Beautifully said, Hiro. Thank you for the reminder. (:
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