Places of the Heart…
Last weekend, I learned that I’ll have to leave the house I’ve lived in for the past three years. Its owner, a lovely woman, wants it back for her own family as a vacation home.
Not today, not tomorrow, but sometime in the next few months, I will have to say goodbye to this exquisite place that has taught me so much about love and belonging.
Goodbye to this bay, whose shifting sands, impromptu rainbows, floating islands, and shot-silk waters are an unfolding story that fills me daily with delight and joy.
Goodbye to my friends, the great bald eagles who teach me about power, commitment, vision, and what it takes to stay aloft in the wildest winter storms. Their diligence as they rebuild their nest each year in the tall cedar tree at the edge of this property. The patience, skill and fearless love with which they teach their little ones to fly.
My spirit companions, the golden eagles, nest a short distance away too. They show up to celebrate each threshold crossed, each passage navigated in my life, by swooping in widening circles in front of my house—an unparalleled dance of power and support.
The non-physical beings that overlight this landscape are my friends and teachers too. They tell me that love cannot be lost…that wherever I go next, their blessings travel with me.
I’ve been grieving, these past few days. Letting hot tears flow. My relationship with this place is as deep and profound as any human relationship. And yet there are no rituals in our culture for honoring such a relationship, for mourning its passage.
So I make my own rituals. Shaped by the changing colors of the sky. By the ebb and flow of the tides. And the pattern of this landscape that lives in my heart.
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I’d love to hear about the places you love. And your own rituals for honoring and leaving these places of the heart.
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Sad to hear this, Hiro. When we sold our house of 15 years last year I went around the yard and the house and gave thanks for everything that I loved – thanks to the pear tree for giving so much fruit and shelter and holding up my hammock, for example. And I cried. I gave the new owners a little handmade book about the house that included all the history I knew of it, a couple of poems and pictures of it through the years. Luckily, I know they love it as much as I did.
Thank you, Lianne, for your empathy and for sharing your story. I love that you gave the new owners of your home a handmade book chronicling its history, with poems and photos. What a beautiful way to celebrate the house, and your relationship with it!
Hiro Boga’s last post … Places of the Heart…
OH Hiro, my heart aches for you!
But what a beautiful post, I felt as if I were there, too.
I will be revisiting (and subsequently leaving) my hometown, Asheville, NC next week and will think of you as I create a ritual for leaving my beloved mountains and city.
xxoo
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Oh my dear, how sad. I’m so sorry.
My only way of dealing with leaving a place that I love is to breathe it in whenever I can (knowing that I am leaving), gazing at it deeply (so that I don’t forget what it looks like), and promising it in my heart (and sometimes out loud) that I will always love it. And then, of course, visiting it whenever I am able.
Just like a dear friend.
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Oh, my dear. My heart goes out to you. I have not yet left a place of the heart, but your words remind me of how I think I will feel if I ever leave the Pacific Northwest. Even the thought of it makes my heart ache a little. If I ever do, I will remember the idea of a ritual.
Your post is beautiful. I can see your home in my mind.
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Dear Hiro,
You describe your home with such moving and vivid detail. I’m so sorry.
There is a place that I love. It is my husband’s aunt’s cottage on an island off the coast of Florida. It sits back from a street, an untraveled lane that is lined with banyan trees. The thing is, I wrestle with loving it. It is too small to accommodate our family when we visit. Even though I get to occasionally sip a cold drink there, my heart aches. Because what I really want to do is unpack my suitcase, plop down on the bed and stay forever.
It’s like being in a loving relationship one minute and poof its all gone, I know the feeling, I guess rebuilding is going to hard, but you will have to find strength to rebuild where ever you are going. Sometimes it is better to have loving memories of something than nothing at all. That’s how I feel. Good luck
Sending you and your home and the heart of your home so much love.
Havi Brooks (and duck)’s last post … Five small thank yous.
Thank you all so much for your love, kindness, empathy and good wishes. I’ve just received two offers of wonderful places to rent, both from dear friends, either of which will be perfect for this next stage of my life.
The Sacred provides, always…And you, dear ones, hold the field of possibility open for me with your beautiful hearts.
Thank you!
Love, Hiro
Hiro Boga’s last post … Places of the Heart…
I’m sorry to hear this, Hiro, but so relieved to know that you are receiving support. Wishing you the best of all possible transitions!
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Thinking of you with love and so happy to hear of choices at hand. You will always be the woman of the golden eagles!
Oh Hiro, My heart wraps itself in your connection to this place of grace and majesty – and to your sorrow at the leaving of it. I can say that you’ll never be far from it . . that it will forever hold a sacred space in all that you are. Then again, you already know that.
I’ve left many places over the years. Most were just places. I came. I stayed. I left. The only one from among all of those that still holds my heart is the one I lease imagined would. The thing is: Though I may never return to it, I go back frequently. I lie in its summer grasses for hours, and watch the hawks play tag with the clouds overhead. I smell the symphony of spring and autumn – once gentle, then smokey and pungent – intertwining itself through each breath that fills my body, And I caress the many memories it holds for me . . each day, with a little more patience than the day before.
A new, and equally amazing place is calling to you. If you haven’t heard it yet, you soon will – when you’re ready. And it will be just as perfect as the one you will leave. Strange how that works.
For now, though, just love the space that holds you. And know how much love it’s giving to you in return.
All good things, my friend – g
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I’m thinking: what a lucky place the new home is that you’re inching closer toward it as the details get worked out and you get closer to bringing your lovely self into it. The whole neighborhood and all the animals will welcome you with you open arms and hearts just as you have opened your heart to this one.
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I sorrow with you and also know you will create something incredible from your sorrow. But sorrow first. Big sigh.
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I barely know you and I wish I could come make you a pot of tea then sit beside you on the sofa while you cried on my shoulder.
I’m sorry for your loss — because it is a loss. I wish I knew of something wiser and more comforting to say, but know I send you love and and strength.
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Hiro:
I hear your sadness as well as all the support that enfolds you as you move through this losss. As you know, you have everything within you – you contain the beautiful place you live in now, you embrace it, it is a part of you. You know this more clearly than I can express.
You asked how we have left places and what I’ve been using is Havi’s metaphor’s as she did in her gratitude picnic for Marissa. She did a beautiful job of redefining loss while feeling all the feelings that came up – transitioning to something else.
Sending you lots of love always.
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Good evening, dear Hiro
I hope that my translation program works reasonably.
I feel so much with you and yet I think that your task is fulfilled and where you are now allowed to make a new experience. You have a lot of moves and now it moves you, such beautiful things. It is time to grieve and let go of something new.
I think of you, embrace you and wish you many loving, supportive energy.
Heart sends greetings to you
Solunaa
It is a hard thing to leave a place you love. It becomes yours by virtue of your love and devotion.
How lovely that you have created a ritual of farewell and loss.
I hope that your new place will hold a beloved place in your heart as well.
Best wishes always.
Dear Hiro,
So sorry that you have to leave your beloved haven.Take teh time you need…grieve and begin the process of saying farewell. Know that something will begin to switch…a yearning for the next place, the next nest, the next home will grow. This new nest will show you new depths that you never knew you had.
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Ah Hiro…
Just over a week ago, my sister-in-law lost her partner in a terrible car crash as he drove to France from Kent. She was supposed to be with him, but changed her mind at the last second.
I have really struggled to put this event out of my mind. I look at my incredible husband, my three children who I adore, and I know that one day, perhaps soon, perhaps in many, many years – they will be parted from me.
And I have been seeking a way to somehow transform the profound surge of grief that this inevitability of death and separation causes inside me. Transform it into something more magical, more beautiful, more celebratory.
Your words are so tender and you speak of where you live with such tangible pride and passion – but like Lianne with her book, we can remember the things we love in words, honour them, speak of them with sparkling awe, gratitude, respect.
I want to be able to speak of my loved ones in the same way. I want to be able to honour their choosing to be with me and celebrate their leaving – even through the tears, which will surely come. Your journey here has articulated the way I will want to feel…
But now, think of what lies ahead! It’s a new adventure, and to expand always means to leave something a little further away from us than it once was. I have no doubt that your eagles will fly to you whereever you are…
Love Natalie